LOLOLOLEZEKIELI FUCKED YOUR MOM YOU WHORES
by Wish I Was A Pirate
Summary: IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT
1. Chapter 1

His decapitated body stared into the depths of hell.

_It didn't have to be like this._

Sky was giggling after winning the 1 billion trillion dollars, with everyone cheering for her.

Now, falling into the depths of despair, Ezekiel thought to himself, why?

_**This is what happened 30 minutes ago.**_

He had just stolen the million from Heather during the finale of TDWT, he was thrilled! He got his money and he could finally fix himself after becoming a messed up goblin thing (that he DESERVES to be because he fucking suck). Alas, it obviously just wasn't meant to be. See, after he stole the million, things started happening on the volcano. Nobody told Zeke of course because he sucks and nobody bothered telling him!

So, what did happen, you ask? Let's find out.

"Eh, I'm dumb, eh!" Ezekiel chanted, tossing the money around everyone. He then heard the volcano erupt.

"Not good, eh!" He squealed as it went inside of every hole in his body, seeping in slowly so he could **feel** all the excruciating pain that his worthless, petty self deserved.

"OWWWWWW, EH!" He said as his eyes started to melt because the lava was so hot.

He, because he was a fucking stupid idiot WASTE OF A CHARACTER, he drank the liquid thinking it'd soothe the pain.

He was wrong. So. Fucking. Wrong. Why? Well, for starters he now swallowed his tongue because it melted and...

Because he signaled the Sky-Meter-Radar-Thing. His screams of torture made Sky come to him and she then stabbed him in his empty eye sockets with two poles and a bomb before taking the money and laughing at his motionless, dumb body.

_**Back to the present...**_

He begun to cry through his empty eye sockets now, as everyone laughed and spit and kicked his body, kicked him into the volcano.

He faced death itself. Would he survive this horrid encounter and prove to everyone that he wasn't worthless? That he deserved a chance?

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No.

He dies and everyone's happy, especially Sky and Courtney!

The end!

_**Dedicated to the...Ezekiel...uh, non hater (gag) Ewisko.**_


	2. Chapter 2

So...

Ezekiel, huh?

He's pretty fucking shit.

Yeah.


	3. Chapter 3

Alright, my hatred for Ezekiel is just too much to handle...

I mean, he's a fucking dick ass slut.

Shit nigga cunt head.

Fuck him in the pussy.

Cunt.


	4. Chapter 4

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lol zeke suks BOOM CAN'T REPORT IT NOW

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	5. Chapter 5

FUCK DICKS

EZEKIEL SUCKS SKY'S COCK

AUDIUS IS OTP


	6. Chapter 6

Woah.

Wow.

Really?

Dude.

Bruh.

GREEN SUCKS LOL

DIE EVERYONE DIE

Zeke is luzar lol can't report now hoes

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_**8 PEOPLE FAVE THIS FIC OR I TAKE DOWN FANFICTION.**_


	7. Chapter 7

DIE IN A HOLE FGS EVERYONE YOU'RE ALL GOD DAMMED DICK SLUTS

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*INSERT RANDOM ZEKE LINE* LOLZ CAN'T REPORT ANYMORE :LLLj

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_**8 PEOPLE FAVE THIS FIC OR I TAKE DOWN FANFICTION.**_


	8. Chapter 8

The **xylophone** (from the Greek words ξύλον—_xylon_, "wood"[1] + φωνή—_phōnē_, "sound, voice",[2] meaning "wooden sound") is amusical instrument in the percussion family that consists of wooden bars struck by mallets. Each bar is an idiophone tuned to a pitch of a musical scale, whether pentatonic or heptatonic in the case of many African and Asian instruments, diatonic in many western children's instruments, or chromatic for orchestral use.

The term _xylophone_ may be used generally, to include all such instruments, such as the marimba, balafon and even the semantron. However, in the orchestra, the term _xylophone_ refers specifically to a chromatic instrument of somewhat higher pitch range and driertimbre than the marimba, and these two instruments should not be confused.

The term is also popularly used to refer to similar instruments of the lithophone and metallophone types. For example, the Pixiphoneand many similar toys described by the makers as _xylophones_ have bars of metal rather than of wood, and so are in organologyregarded as a glockenspiels rather than as xylophones. This misnomer was also popularised by the Sooty show, in which the metal-barred instrument he plays is always described as a _xylophone_.

Contents [hide]

1 Description 2 History 2.1 The Asian xylophone 2.2 The African xylophone 2.2.1 Mbila 2.2.2 Gyil 2.2.3 Silimba 2.2.4 Akadinda, amadinda and mbaire 2.2.5 Balo 2.3 The western xylophone 3 Use in elementary education 4 See also 5 References 6 Sources 7 External links

Description[edit]

Cameroon, ~1914

The modern western xylophone has bars of rosewood, padauk, or various synthetic materials such as fiberglass or fiberglass-reinforced plastic which allows a louder sound.[3] Some can be as small a range as 2½ octaves but concert xylophones are typically 3½ or 4 octaves. The xylophone is a transposing instrument: its parts are written one octave below the sounding notes. Xylophones should be played with very hard rubber, polyball, or acrylic mallets. Sometimes medium to hard rubber mallets, very hard core, or yarn mallets are used for softer effects. Lighter tones can be created on xylophones by using wooden-headed mallets made from rosewood, ebony, birch, or other hard woods.[4]

Concert xylophones have tube resonators below the bars to enhance the tone and sustain. Frames are made of wood or cheap steel tubing: more expensive xylophones feature height adjustment and more stability in the stand. In other music cultures some versions havegourds[3] that act as Helmholtz resonators. Others are "trough" xylophones with a single hollow body that acts as a resonator for all the bars.[5] Old methods consisted of arranging the bars on tied bundles of straw, and, as still practiced today, placing the bars adjacent to each other in a ladder-like layout. Ancient mallets were made of willow wood with spoon-like bowls on the beaten ends.[3]

History[edit]

_Kulintang a Kayo_, a Philippinexylophone

The instrument has obscure, ancient origins. According to Nettl, it originated in southeast Asia and came to Africa c. 500 AD when a group of Malayo-Polynesian speaking peoples migrated to Africa. One piece of evidence for this is the similarity between East African xylophone orchestras and Javanese and Balinese gamelan orchestras.[6] This, however has been questioned by ethnomusicologist and linguist Roger Blench who posits an independent origin in Africa. [7]

The Asian xylophone[edit]

The earliest evidence of a true xylophone is from the 9th century in southeast Asia, while a similar hanging wood instrument-a type ofharmonicon-is said to have existed in 2000 BC in what is now part of China, according to the Vienna Symphonic Library.[8] The xylophone-like ranat was used in Hindu regions (kashta tharang). Java and Bali use xylophones (called gambang) in gamelan ensembles. They still have traditional significance in Africa, Malaysia, Melanesia, Indonesia, Thailand, and regions of the Americas. The instrument was imported to South America by Africans, where it developed into the marimba.

The African xylophone[edit]

The term _marimba_ is also applied to various traditional folk instruments such as the West Africa _balafon_. Early forms were constructed of bars atop a gourd.[9] The wood is first roasted around a fire before shaping the key to achieve the desired tone. The resonator is tuned to the key through careful choice of size of resonator, adjustment of the diameter of the mouth of the resonator using wasp wax and adjustment of the height of the key above the resonator. A skilled maker can produce startling amplification. The mallets used to play _dibinda_ and _mbila_ have heads made from natural rubber taken from a wild creeping plant.[10] "Interlocking" or alternating rhythm features in Eastern African xylophone music such as that of the Makonde _dimbila_, the Yao _mangolongondo_ or the Shirima _mangwilo_ in which the _opachera_, the initial caller, is responded to by another player, the _wakulela_.[11] This usually doubles an already rapid rhythmic pulse that may also co-exist with a counter-rhythm.

Timbila

Mbila[edit]

The Mbila (plural "Timbila") is associated with the Chopi people of the Inhambane Province, in southern Mozambique.[10] It is not to be confused with the mbira. The style of music played on it is believed to be the most sophisticated method of composition yet found among preliterate peoples.[12] The gourd-resonated, equal-ratio heptatonic-tuned mbila of Mozambique is typically played in large ensembles in a choreographed dance, perhaps depicting a historical drama. Ensembles consist of around ten xylophones of three or four sizes. A full orchestra would have two bass instruments called _gulu_ with three or four wooden keys played standing up using heavy mallets with solid rubber heads, three tenor _dibinda_, with ten keys and played seated, and the mbila itself, which has up to nineteen keys of which up to eight may be played simultaneously. The _gulu_ uses gourds and the _mbila_ and _dibinda_ Masala apple shells as resonators. They accompany the dance with long compositions called _ngomi_ or _mgodo_ and consist of about 10 pieces of music grouped into 4 separate movements, with an overture, in different tempos and styles. The ensemble leader serves as poet, composer, conductor and performer, creating a text, improvising a melody partially based on the features of the Chopi tone language and composing a second countrapuntal line. The musicians of the ensemble partially improvise their parts. The composer then consults with the choreographer of the ceremony and adjustments are made.[13] The longest and most important of these is the "Mzeno" which will include a song telling of an issue of local importance or even making fun of a prominent figure in the community![10] Performers include Eduardo Durão and Venancio Mbande.[10][14]

Gyil[edit]

Main article: Balafon

The _**gyil**_ (English pronunciation: /ˈdʒɪlə/ or /ˈdʒiːl/) is a pentatonic instrument common to the Gur-speaking populations in Ghana, Burkina Faso, Mali and Côte d'Ivoire in West Africa. The Gyil is the primary traditional instrument of the Dagara people of northern Ghana and Burkina Faso, and of the Lobi of Ghana, southern Burkina Faso, and Côte d'Ivoire. The gyil is usually played in pairs, accompanied by a calabash gourd drum called a _kuor_. It can also be played by one person with the drum and the stick part as accompaniment, or by a soloist. Gyil duets are the traditional music of Dagara funerals. The instrument is generally played by men, who learn to play while young, however, there is no restriction on gender.

The Gyil's design is similar to the _Balaba_ or Balafon used by the Mande-speaking Bambara, Dyula and Sosso peoples further west in southern Mali and western Burkina Faso, a region that shares many musical traditions with those of northern Côte d'Ivoire and Ghana. It is made with 14 wooden keys of an African hardwood called liga attached to a wooden frame, below which hang calabash gourds.[15] Spider web silk covers small holes in the gourds to produce a buzzing sound and antelope sinew and leather are used for the fastenings.[15] The instrument is played with rubber-headed wooden mallets.

Silimba[edit]

A _silimba_ in a Zambian market

The **silimba** is a xylophone developed by Lozi people in Barotseland, western Zambia.[16] The tuned keys are tied atop resonatinggourds.[17] The silimba, or shinjimba, is used by the Nkoya people of Western Zambia at traditional royal ceremonies like the Kazanga Nkoya. The shilimba is now used in most parts of Zambia.

Akadinda, amadinda and mbaire[edit]

The **akadinda** and the **amadinda** are xylophone-like instruments originating in Buganda, in modern-day Uganda.[18] The amadinda is made of twelve logs which are tuned in a pentatonic scale. It mainly is played by three players. Two players sit opposite of each other and play the same logs in an interlocking technique in a fast tempo. It has no gourd resonators or buzzing tone, two characteristics of many other African xylophones.[19]

The amadinda was an important instrument at the royal court in Buganda, a Ugandan kingdom. A special type of notation is now used for this xylophone, consisting of numbers for and periods.[20] as is also the case with the **embaire**, a type of xylophone originating in southern Uganda.[20]

Balo[edit]

Main article: Balafon

The _**balo**_ (_**balenjeh**_, _**behlanjeh**_) is used among the Mandinka people of West Africa. Its keys are mounted on gourds, and struck with mallets with rubber tips. The players typically wear iron cylinders and rings attached to their hands so that they jingle as they play.[21]

The western xylophone[edit]

Orchestral xylophone (left) and marimba

The first use of the term is comparatively recent, as it came into use in Europe in the 1860s.[22] The first use of a European orchestral xylophone was in Camille Saint-Saëns' "Danse Macabre", in 1874.[3] The instrument had already been popularized to some extent byMichael Josef Gusikov,[23] whose instrument was the five-row xylophone made of 28 crude wooden bars arranged in semitones in the form of a trapezoid and resting on straw supports. There were no resonators and it was played fast with spoon-shaped sticks. According to the musicologist Curt Sachs, Gusikov performed in garden concerts, variety shows, and as a novelty at symphony concerts. The instrument was associated largely with the folk music of Eastern Europe, notably Poland and eastern Germany. An early version appeared in Slovakia[24] and the earliest reference to a similar instrument came in the 14th century.[25] German organist Arnold Schlick's 16th-century _Spiegel der Orgelmacher und Organisten_ also mentions one.[8]

The western xylophone was used by early jazz bands and in vaudeville. Its bright, lively sound worked well the syncopated dance music of the 1920s and 1930s. Red Norvo, George Cary, George Hamilton Green, and Harry Breuer were well-known users. As time passed, the xylophone was exceeded in popularity by the vibraphone. The xylophone is a precursor to the vibraphone, which was developed in the 1920s. A xylophone with a range extending downwards into the marimba range is called a xylorimba.

Shostakovich was particularly fond of the instrument; it has prominent roles in much of his work, including most of his symphonies and his Cello Concerto No. 2. Modern xylophone players include Bob Becker, Evelyn Glennie and Ian Finkel.

In the U.S., there are Zimbabwean marimba bands in particularly high concentration in the Pacific Northwest, Colorado, and New Mexico, but bands exist from the East Coast through California and even to Hawaii and Alaska. The main event for this community is ZimFest, the annual Zimbabwean Music Festival. The bands are composed of instruments from high sopranos, through to lower soprano, tenor, baritone, and bass. Resonators are usually made with holes covered by thin cellophane (similar to the balafon) to achieve the characteristic buzzing sound. As of 2006, the repertoires of U.S. bands tends to have a great overlap, due to the common source of the Zimbabwean musicianDumisani Maraire, who was the key person who first brought Zimbawean music to the West, coming to the University of Washington in 1968.

Use in elementary education[edit]

Three xylophones.

Many music educators use xylophones as a classroom resource to assist children's musical development. One method noted for its use of xylophones is Orff-Schulwerk, which combines the use of instruments, movement, singing and speech to develop children's musical abilities.[26] Xylophones used in American general music classrooms are smaller, at about 1½ octaves, than the 2½ or more octave range of performance xylophones. The bass xylophone ranges are written from middle C to A an octave higher but sound one octave lower than written. The alto ranges are written from middle C to A an octave higher and sound as written. The soprano ranges are written from middle C to A an octave higher but sound one octave higher than written.[27]

According to Professor Andrew Tracey, marimbas were introduced to Zimbabwe in 1960.[28] Zimbabwean marimba based upon Shona music has also become popular in the West, which adopted the original use of these instruments to play transcriptions of mbiradzavadzimu (as well as _nyunga nyunga_ and _matepe_) music. The first of these transcriptions had originally been used for music education in Zimbabwe. Zimbabwean instruments are often in a diatonic C major scale, which allows them to be played with a 'western-tuned' mbira (G nyamaropa), sometimes with an added F# key placed inline.

See also[edit] Balafon Glockenspiel Kolintang Lamellophone Lithophone Marimba Metallophone Musical Stones of Skiddaw Thongophone Vibraphone Music of Mozambique Music of Zambia References[edit]

**Jump up^** ξύλον, Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, _A Greek-English Lexicon_, on Perseus **Jump up^** φωνή, Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, _A Greek-English Lexicon_, on Perseus ^ Jump up to:_**a**_ _**b**_ _**c**_ _**d**_ "How xylophone is made". . 26 June 2000. Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** Cook, Gary D. (1997). _Teaching Percussion, Second Edition_. Belmont, CA: Schirmer Books, Wadsworth/Thomson Learning. **Jump up^** "Vienna Symphonic Library Vienna Academy Percussion Mallets Xylophone History". .at. Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** Nettl, Bruno, _Music in Primitive Culture_, Harvard University Press, Cambridge, Massachusetts, 1969, SBN 674-59000-7, pp.18–19, 100. Quoted at; page/176/ **Jump up^** Blench, Roger (November 1, 2012), "Using diverse sources of evidence for reconstructing the prehistory of musical exchanges in the Indian Ocean and their broader significance for cultural prehistory", Prepared for a special issue of African Archaeological Review , p.7–11 ^ Jump up to:_**a**_ _**b**_ "Vienna Symphonic Library Online". .at. Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** [1][_dead link_] ^ Jump up to:_**a**_ _**b**_ _**c**_ _**d**_ "Music of Mozambique: Information from". . 25 November 2010. Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** Encyclopædia Britannica, EBchecked/topic/290356/interlocking **Jump up^** Mitchell, Barry (14 January 2008). "Theory of Music". .com. Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** Nettl, Bruno (1956). _Music in Primitive Culture_. Harvard University Press. page/176/ **Jump up^** "African Heartbeats". . Retrieved 2011-11-01. ^ Jump up to:_**a**_ _**b**_ Harper, Colter (2008). "Life, Death, and Music in West Africa". _Contexts Magazine_. Winter: 44–51. Retrieved 2008-05-04. **Jump up^** Marimba History **Jump up^** "~Zambia~". . 21 December 2006. Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** "akadinda (musical instrument)". Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved 27 April 2009. **Jump up^** "xylophone (musical instrument)". Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved 25 April 2009. ^ Jump up to:_**a**_ _**b**_ "African music :: Interlocking". Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved 25 April 2009. **Jump up^** "The Behlanjeh, the national musical instrument of the Mandingos". Royal Commonwealth Society Library. Cambridge University Library. University of Cambridge. 5 November 2004. Retrieved 26 April 2008. **Jump up^** The first citation in the _Oxford English Dictionary_ – _Oxford English Dictionary_, Second Edition, 1989, Oxford University Press, – is the 7 April 1866 edition of the_Athenaeum_: "A prodigy ... who does wonderful things with little drumsticks on a machine of wooden keys, called the 'xylophone'.". However, the word appears earlier in the 1865 _The Ladies' Companion_, pub. Rogerson and Tuxford, p.152,Google Books Both citations refer to the performance of a child prodigy, Sunbury. **Jump up^** Michael Joseph Guzikow Archives **Jump up^** Nettl, Bruno, _Music in Primitive Culture_, Harvard University Press. ISBN 0-674-59000-7, p 98(1956) **Jump up^** "The Xylophone". . Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** "American Orff-Schulwerk Association". . Retrieved 2011-11-01. **Jump up^** Keetman, Gunild and Orff, Carl. (1958). _Orff-Schulwerk Music for Children_. English version adapted by Margaret Murray. London: Schott &amp; Co. Ltd. **Jump up^** . _ .za_[_dead link_]

Sources[edit] Nettl, Bruno (1956). _Music in Primitive Culture_. Harvard University Press. Paco, Celso. "A Luta Continua". 2000. In Broughton, Simon and Ellingham, Mark with McConnachie, James and Duane, Orla (Ed.), _World Music, Vol. 1: Africa, Europe and the Middle East_, pp 579–584. Rough Guides Ltd, Penguin Books. ISBN 1-85828-636-0 Tracey, Hugh. (1948, reprinted 1970). _Chopi Musicians: their Music, Poetry, and Instruments._ London: International African Institute and Oxford University Press. SBN 19 724182 4. Hallis, Ron and Hallis, Ophera. (1987). _Chopi Music of Mozambique._ 28 minutes. 16 mm Video. External links[edit] Wikimedia Commons has media related to _**xylophone**_. Wikisource has the text of the1911 _Encyclopædia Britannica_ article_**xylophone**_. Xylophone History The Gyil Bernard Woma, noted gyil player and teacher KOGIRI CLUB The 1973 Mgodo wa Mbanguzi A complete performance of traditional music and dance composed by a Chopi village in southern Mozambique. Produced by Gei Zantzinger and Andrew Tracey. Timbila Ta Venancio Venancio Mbande album at Amazon Timbila Eduardo Durão album at Amazon. Center for Traditional Music and Dance Representations of the mbila in Mukondeni Art Gallery, South Africa [show]

v t e

Percussion instruments

[show]

v t e

Stick percussion idiophones

Categories: Keyboard percussion Mallet percussion Ghanaian musical instruments Stick percussion idiophones Orchestral percussion Marching percussion Mozambican music Masterpieces of the Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity Zambian musical instruments Ugandan musical instruments Pitched percussion

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	9. Chapter 9

I'm bored.

How was your day everyone?

c:

ZEKE SUCKS can't report now.


	10. Chapter 10

I'M A TAKING DOWN FANFICTION WITH MY COCK

FEAR MY DICKS POWER LOLOLOL

ZEKE SUCKS CAN'T REPORT

R U AFRAID

IF I DONT GET 90 REVIEWS THIS CHAPTER I'LL DELETE ALL YOUR STORIES LOL

R U AFRAID

BECAUSE IF YOU ARENT

YOU'RE NOT A SHITHEAD


	11. Chapter 11

**ZEKE SUCKS CAN'T REPORT**

WHAT

DOES

A

GUY

HAVE

TO

DO

AROUND

HERE

TO

GET

FUCKING

BANNED


End file.
